What do you think my poem is good?

I just sat down and wrote this poem. It's about a rather complicated breakup of sorts, and how I feel about it. Just wondering what you think.

No costume is ever perfect,

something always shows,

hair under the wig,

or a piece of the person's clothes,

Sometimes you have to look,

and somtimes its right there,

Sometimes it's hard to find,

Other times, he just doesn't care.

So I wake up every morning,

And I'm sure to do it well,

I put on my costume,

But inside, it's a living Hell.

If I asked you to look into my eyes

and tell me what you see,

You would probably notice,

That they're not what they used to be.

They have a shiny glean,

from the midnight moon,

And a deathly stare,

far too soon.

If you were to see my soul,

It would be black and tarred,

And I hope with what's left of my heart,

It isn't scarred.

So my costume is not perfect,

And it never will be,

But what else can you expect,

When the person I loved has left me.

What do you think my poem is good?

I really like the metaphor. The idea that you are putting on a play for the world, and they have to be observant to see the pain that you're in. It's really nicely done.

I would perhaps change the living Hell comment to something less predictable, but nits aside...a nicely crafted piece.

What do you think my poem is good?

i love it. Report It

What do you think my poem is good?

Are you asking what about it do I think is good? I thought it was all pretty good, didn't like the last stanza though. Rewrite that.

What do you think my poem is good?

I think that your poem sounds good and has nice smooth rhythm and rhyme.