Tuesday, November 24, 2009

101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.



2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."



3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."



4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."



5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.



6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. %26lt;



7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.



8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.



9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".



10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.



11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.



12. Sniffle incessantly.



13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.



14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."



16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."



17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."



18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".



19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."



20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.



21. Practice making fax and modem noises.



22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.



23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.



24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.



25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."



26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."



27. Wear a special hip holster for your



remote control.



28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.



29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.



30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.



31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.



32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.



33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."



34. Drum on every available surface.



35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.



36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.



37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.



38. Sew anti-theft detector strips



into peoples backpacks.



39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.



40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.



41. Set alarms for random times.



42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.



43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.



44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.



45. Honk and wave to strangers.



46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.



47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.



48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.



49. Wear your pants backwards.



50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.



51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"



52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.



53. only type in lowercase.



54. dont use any punctuation either



55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.



56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.



57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.



58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.



59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.



60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.



61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."



62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.



63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.



64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.



65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."



66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.



67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.



68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."



69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.



70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.



71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.



72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.



73. Drive half a block.



74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.



75. Ask people what gender they are.



76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.



77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.



78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".



79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.



80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.



81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.



82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.



83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."



84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.



85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.



86. Wear a LOT of cologne.



87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."



88. Sing along at the opera.



89. Mow your lawn with scissors.



90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"



91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."



92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.



93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something



about "psychological profiles."



94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."



95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.



96. Never make eye contact.



97. Never break eye contact.



98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.



99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.



100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.



101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

Always stand too close to people while waiting for public transport!



When going on an airplane, always eat loads of beans the night before and constantly fart very loudly and laugh every time!



Fart loudly in crowded elevators



Stand next to people in public toilets



Constantly bang on cubicle doors and shout are you finished yet?



Never cover your nose/mouth when sneezing/coughing on crowded public transport/elevators



While watching TV with other people constantly change the channel.



When in a bar that plays important sports matches, carry a remote control and change the channel at crucial moments.



play the mouth organ badly on crowded public transport.



Shake strangers hands and then tell about your contagious disease.



Etc



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

love it Report It



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

that's very annoying



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

Your question makes 102! Wow, that is really annoying.



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

Oh my gosh! I was cracking up the entire time because there were things in here that I purposely did just to annoy people. Thanks for more information! Some of these can also be used as 101 ways to break up with someone.



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

LOL I have to remember some of these!



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

102. Mizpel werds on perpus becuz you think thay luk kewler that wey.



103. Bring back a DVD to a movie store then apologize because you forgot to rewind it. Then offer to pay the fee and get mad when it "would be cheaper just to rent it again!"



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

this is cool i have just printed it out ,funny as at 6.17am



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

that is a long and kinda funny list man



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

Those were good but i got another one for you. Chew with your mouth open. My husband does it and it annoys the F**K out of me. He sounds like a cow.



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

I really enjoyed those, I especially liked number 8. I will do that with my nephew this weekend, thanks for the idea. Hehehe!



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

102 Posting really Lonnggggggggg jokes :)



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

102. write really long questions when drunk



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

cool



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

not bad, you missed out enless repetitions of "i know a song that will get on you're nerves"



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

first you try all this and let me know



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

Sorry my friend. But i lost consciousness after no. 10. But I'm sure they were really good. A chap annoyed me in the cafe the other day when he stirred his tea about 200 times!!



101 ways to annoy someone or can you add more ??

long but funny

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