101 Ways To Annoy People?

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. %26lt;

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your

remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips

into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something

about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

101 Ways To Annoy People?

that was pointless and not a question

101 Ways To Annoy People?

thank you for the laugh Report It

101 Ways To Annoy People?

How is this a question?

101 Ways To Annoy People?

Very good!!!

You must have the patience of a saint to type all that out (or cut/copy/paste)!!!

101 Ways To Annoy People?

wow what a list.

101 Ways To Annoy People?

very good. there was some good ones there, i might try some of them.

101 Ways To Annoy People?

lol

101 Ways To Annoy People?

very good cheers but i cant give a answer to that

101 Ways To Annoy People?

not exactly a question but the 20 or so i read are completely true.

101 Ways To Annoy People?

well you certainly covered "how to annoy people" a few good gems in there !!!!!

101 Ways To Annoy People?

first time I laughed out loud on here

101 Ways To Annoy People?

102. Make exceptionally long statements on YA, especially using American phraseology on the UK site.

101 Ways To Annoy People?

i gotta say,,, some of those are hilarious

101 Ways To Annoy People?

HaHA can't believe I read all that! I have another one:

When people are trying to tell an amusing anecdote, every few seconds say "Really?!" very sarcastically, OR pretend to fall asleep and then say "Sorry no I really want to hear it" and then pretend to fall asleep again. Repeat as necessary! =D

101 Ways To Annoy People?

Took me a lot of time to read, but it was worth the trouble!!!!

101 Ways To Annoy People?

Keep asking ridiculous questions about how annoying you are..........

101 Ways To Annoy People?

It took me ages to read it but

lol....some of them were funny...others were just stupid....do you hvae any friends?....lol....thanks for the tips.

101 Ways To Annoy People?

Obviously you are a person of the highest intelect: However I would like to make one minor adjustment to your considered guidance suggestions:

Remove item No: 54 which is not really annoying or obnoxious! Replacing that deletion with:-

"REPEATEDLY SEND THE SAME GIFT TO PEOPLE FOR THEIR XMAS OR BIRTHDAY PRESENT" {May I suggest a C.D. of 'Victoria Beckenhams' greatest hits}

101 Ways To Annoy People?

was there 50 way's not to read this?

101 Ways To Annoy People?

i liked 101 invite people to other peoples parties. saved to favorites.never know when you'll need it. star

101 Ways To Annoy People?

LMFAO... this had me cracking up.... good stuff

101 Ways To Annoy People?

What a fantastic list - clearly you work in the same senior school as I do as some of those are practised on a daily basis by most of the teenagers...

My pet fave though - and you missed this one - is pressing all the floor buttons in a lift (elevator) as you get out of it. I do this one when I am out with my kids and they think it is wonderful - they are obviously going to continue the family tradition

101 Ways To Annoy People?

very good! that tip can i do to my friends! adios for the tipss!

101 Ways To Annoy People?

Top stuff. Thanks for a good hearty laugh.

101 Ways To Annoy People?

some useful ones in there that i will give a go...as for number 5,i do that all the time!its a corker.

101 Ways To Annoy People?

that was really good. i'm serious, i laughed at almost all of them. my favorite was #23. make beeping noises when a large person backs up. i literally lol'ed and #35 to staple papers in the middle of the page. lol...did you make those up or get them from a book?

101 Ways To Annoy People?

You need to get out more

101 Ways To Annoy People?

Or ask 101 dumb questions and give 101 silly answers.

101 Ways To Annoy People?

2 many to read sorry

101 Ways To Annoy People?

TOO FUNNY"!!!!! read evry single one and loved it LMAO!!!!

101 Ways To Annoy People?

I enjoyed reading this.

101 Ways To Annoy People?

I DO REALLY THANK YOU

u make me laugh loudly %26amp; u r right most of those things make me annoyed.

Maybe 102. When your co-worker come to answer a phone call; come beside him and make a discussion with someone else far from you.